Once Upon a Midnite Dreary
by Alkanet-457
Summary: After a dark and stormy of blissful passion, Buffy and Spike are faced with a future that neither was fully prepared for. Will love bloom or will death be the only escape?
1. Once Upon A Midnite Dreary

Disclaimer: I am poor and that Josh guys right therefore he owns Buffy the Vampire Slayer and I do not. Please don't sue me.

Okay this is just a one shot fic about Buffy and Spike. It takes place sometime during their love affair type deal. I hope you enjoy and comments and critic might entice me to keep going with this fic.

Once Upon A Midnite Dreary

Ever wondered what would happen if you forgot about everything that you have ever valued in your life? I know I have. Many a time I have yearned for the silence that forgetfulness can bring. Yet it still evades me. I wish I could forget what it felt like to have his hands on my skin. I wish I could forget how his cold lips sent shivers across my body from one touch. I wish I could forget the way his eyes seemed to bore into my soul and reveal my innermost fantasies in one glance. It sickens me to know that I value these things. Bile builds up in my lungs to know that night after night I can do nothing but come to him. To let him scratch the itch within me that only he can reach. I value him without realizing that doing so contradicts everything I have believed in. I value him because he values me, even if I do not deserve his false declarations of love. I still value the thought that he does love me.

Have you ever wondered why you care for some things more than others? I know I have. I care about things that, only a few years ago, I would have laughed at. I care for warm caresses from another's eyes when they think you aren't looking. I care about a soft sigh of contentment when you feel relaxed within another's embrace. I care about tears shed from a moment filled with such pleasure that it hurts to know it's over. I wish I didn't care about these things. I wish I could go back to the way I was before I ever met her. I wish she could return to being my enemy instead of the object of my affection. I wish a thousands things upon her head for making me feel this way about her. For tormenting me with moments of such happiness and then stealing away to her uncaring self pity. But most of all, I wish she would care as I care. For that in itself would be more rewarding than any form of torture could ever be.

Her eyes were glazed over as if she we still suffering the effects of their love making. As if what they did together could ever be considered making love. It was more like wrestling and boxing mixed together with a massage and an orgasm. She blinked as if to clear her head and gain as much composure as a naked woman can manage after a night of mind blowing sex. She turns to look at him and notices that he has been watching her. His own body mimicking hers as he breathes unnecessarily. At one glance at the pair you would think they were lovers that were so enamoured with the other that words were no longer needed, but then the silence is broken by her voice.

"Why are you out of breath if you can not breathe, vampire?" she whispers as if she herself did not want to break the silence shared between them.

"I don't know, luv. You always seem to leave me breathless despite the lack of need for breathing," he responded with the same thing he always answers her with. Then he smiled as he continued to look at her, admiring her sun kissed skin as it contrasted so sharply against his own moonlit toned body. She returned his stare, puzzling him for a moment.

Why is she still here? Must she make me suffer more than needed? She has gotten what she wanted-what she came for, yet she still lays there as if she doesn't want to leave. As if she is really content with the thought of laying near me-practically in my arms, after her so called need of me if over with. Who does she think she is? To contradict herself in such a manner that it confuses me, the only person that truly knows her.

Why is he still staring at me? Is there something wrong with me that he has to stare in order to see it? Do his eyes have to pierce into my own in such a way that it makes me gasp with the intensity of their depths? Must those blue devils look upon me as if they know my innermost thoughts and my most secret desires? It is as if he suspects something of me. But what I do not know. It is not like it is a crime to stay after our fling of passion long enough to regain my wits and composure..

She licks her lips as if she is about to say something else to attempt to end the uncomfortable silence that followed his response to her question. He lifts a hand to run his forefinger across the path her tongue made against her bottom lip. Then he leans forward slowly as if he is about to steal a kiss. He can hear her breath quicken even faster than he thought was possible, before he realized that anything was possible when it came to her. Then, when his mouth was so close to hers that her warm breath heated his own parted lips he whispers three little words that could either damn him or bring him his salvation.

"I love you," he says, then kisses her swiftly as if to silence any protest she might have tried to make against his declaration. They both moaned as the kiss intensified. Then suddenly she pulled away from him and started kissing his neck. He purred deep down within his chest as she slowly made her way towards his ear and began to nibble on it. Then she whispered softly into that ear the only two words she can say without regret.

"I know."

Why am I doing this? What has possessed me all of a sudden? I must be mad. That has to be the only thing that can explain why I am enjoying delivering pleasure to him. I have never cared before whether or not he enjoyed what happens between us, but suddenly I do. I care if he likes how I treat him when we are together. I must be ill.

Why is she doing this? Has she gone mad? Or has she perhaps fallen ill? She has never done anything like this before. She has never done anything just for my enjoyment; it has always been about her when we are together. Yet now she is pleasuring me without hesitation and with no benefit for herself. I think she must not realize what she is doing. I should stop her. I will stop her...as soon as she finishes.


	2. The Morning After

I know noone seems to be reading this, but I actually like writing this for no reason. Maybe one day someone will like it and want to review, but until that day I'll sit here and hope.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my writer's block and creative tastes.

Once Upon A Midnite Dreary:

A tangle of limbs are sprawled across the blanket covered floor of a marble crypt. The morning sun is slowly rising and shining its rays onto the ceiling and walls. A soft moan of protest at the humid heat enveloping the crypt after the night of rain pierces the silence of the moment as Buffy opens her eyes to greet the new day. She frowns slightly in confusion before the memories of the night before rush into her mind. In the next moment she turns her head, fully prepared to rant at a certain vampire, but pauses as her eyes take in the sight before her. Spike's face was directly behind her head and his arms were holding her securely in place. His face was softened in peace and his countenance screamed innocence and love as he sighed quietly before pulling Buffy closer to his luke warm torso. Buffy's heart ached to see him this way, so caring for her, while she herself was so cold and hateful towards him.

I am a bitch. How can I keep putting him through this? He doesn't deserve the tatters of emotion I give him. He doesn't deserve being used as a sex slave. What am I saying? He doesn't deserve me. He is an evil souless vampire bastard that is using me to get himself off. I am a fool for doing this. What is wrong with me? I have to get out of here...as soon as I remember where he threw my underwear.

A small smile spread across Spike's face as he anticipated his slayer's movement and pulled her even closer to his body. He opened his eyes slowly and nearly cried out in pleasure at the sight of a bed tossled Buffy looking at him with wrinkled brow and a tempting frown. Spike could not resist turning the slayer onto her back and nibbling her ear.

"Morning pet.."Spike murmurs into her ear before biting and promptly licking the affliction. Spike took great pleasure at the tiny gasps and moans escaping his slayer's lips, but took far greater pleasure in kissing those lips thoroughly. He sat up slowly, pulling his slayer into his lap and not once breaking the passionate kiss. The kiss would end when Buffy wanted it to since he had no need for air. Buffy, however, seemed to have mastered the art of breathing deeply through her nose while kissing because she went on kissing him with much fervor. Eventually, despite her best attempts, air became an issue for her and she drew back to lean her forehead against Spike's.

"What? It's not a good morning?"

Spike smirked at her statement and swirled his tongue slowly across his teeth before replying," I'm a vampire, pet. Morning is simply that to me, but this has been one of the better ones."

Buffy shook her head and frowned as if finally waking up from a spell she had been under. She had to leave. She had left Dawn at home alone since early evening yesterday. There was no explaining or excusing away the predicament she was in. She would be found out. They would be found out. She would be scolded and ridiculed for daring to tempt fate again by being with a vampire. Not like she was with Spike. She just enjoyed some of the things he could do to her. He made her feel, which is more than anyone could boast about her. There would be time for regretting her action later, however, now she had to get home as quickly as possible to ease the worries of her younger sister.

"I'm leaving."

"Of course you are," Spike drawled lazily as he leaned forward to snake a path with his tongue alone her collar bone.

Buffy pushed him backwards and stood up to begin the hunt for her clothes. She couldn't afford another distraction and Spike being in the same room as her was beginning to become a distraction. She bent over to pick up a stray bra and thong.

"I told you, I'm leaving. Now don't touch me again or else.."Buffy trailed off her sentence. It was meant to intimidate the chipped vampire, but it seems to only entice him into acting out to see her response. She bent over to pull her underwear on and glanced in Spike's direction to see him pulling on his jeans in the same fashion. He left them unzipped and buttoned, in an effort to further tempt her.

"Can't find everything?"He quipped with a smirk slyly sneaking across his face. "You don't think they've snuck off do you? Disappeared so you can never leave?" He continued speaking while walking towards her with a sexy swagger in his step.

Again Buffy pushed him away and started crawling around on her limbs to look in all the darkened corners for her ilusive tank top and skirt. She muttered darkly as Spike again pulled her towards him, but this time was pushed up against the wall before she could respond.

"Nibblet can handle being alone a lil' longer, pet. It's a school day anyways..."He murmured into her ear as he began to nibble and peck along her neckline. At some point, Buffy let her guard down and was promptly throw back onto their makeshift bed on the floor. She would not be going anywhere for now and as much as that thought should frighten her, she was dealing with it just fine.

Several hours later Buffy finally manage to untangle herself from Spike's undead fingers and find her clothing. She cringed as she noticed the sun was high in the sky, signaling that most of the day had already gone by unnoticed. She ran quickly through the cemetary in an attempt to get home and change before begging her boss for the night off. She was sore in all of the right and wrong places and doubted she could handle the horrors of a minimum wage job today. When she reached her house, she walked in through the front door, thinking that Dawn was at school and the need for stealth was not necessary. To her horror, Dawn and the entire Scooby gang were all sitting in the living room deep in discussion.

"Buffy? Where have you been? You were out all night and we have all been worried sick about you,"Xander immediately started the verbal firing squad as if he had been practicing this all night while waiting on her return.

"Yes Buffy. What kept you all night? Did you get in a big brawl and forgo the Scooby meeting?"Willow followed quickly after.

Giles, Dawn, and Tara were silient in wait for Buffy's response, but Anya was more blunt and to the point than any of the others could ever be. "Were you out having multiple orgasms all night? That's a good reason to stay out and sleep over anytime. I'm sure that's your excuse right?"

The deadpan way that Anya said this and the hidden truth behind it made Buffy burst into tears before running upstairs to her bedroom. Once there, she locked the door and crawled under her covers to cry herself into a troubled sleep. Her dreams were interupted an hour or so later by the persistent shaking of her left shoulder. Her groans of protest were ignored as the intruder only shook her harder.

"What do you want already?" she managed groggily in the direction of the person. Her vision blurred by sleep and tears so that she only looked in the general direction she hoped the person was in.

"I want you...to...talk to me," Tara answered softly. "The others have left and Dawn and Willow are sleeping...I..already know...somethings..but...talk to me?" Tara's soft smile reassured Buffy in her troubled state and she sniffled once more before she began to sob.

"I slept with Spike...again...I know it was wrong and I know I should not be doing it..literally.."Buffy chuckled in between her chocked gasps and tears. "I can't help myself, Tara. He makes me want to do these things. I like being...with him...and it's getting harder and harder to stop myself," Buffy paused and looked down before continuing," I don't think I want to. I like how he makes me feel...and I don't think I could stop now if I tried.." This last statement was said so softly Tara had to strain to make sure she heard correctly.

"You love him?" Tara questioned gently.

"No," Buffy quickly answered," but if I don't do something soon...I will."

Tara nodded, more to herself than as a response to Buffy, then stood up from the bed and leaned in to give Buffy a much needed hug.

"Time will ease any doubts you have. In the end, all will be as it should..."Tara whispered gently.

"But I don't have time..."Buffy mumbled before exhaustion settled in around her.

Tara smiled a little bigger as if she was in on a secret before letting go of Buffy and easing her back onto the bed. Tara glanced at the window and nodded slightly before walking to the door. She stopped at the door and whispered lowly to an unseen vistor.

"If you hurt her...hell will seem merciful compared to what will be done to you,"Tara spoke with such conviction and confidence that Spike knew better than to doubt her words.

"I won't," he simply said while taking off his duster and using it to block out the light that would arrive in a few short hours. Tara looked over her shoulder briefly and whispered a small incantation to soundproof the walls and tint the windows. She locked the door behind her and walked down the short hallway to join her slumbering girlfriend. Tonight, she knew, things would happen that would either change everyone she knew and cared about or hurt them deep down to their very soul. Personally, she was hoping for the change, but only the coming day would tell.

Buffy tossed and turned slightly in her sleep as a dream surrounded her subconscious. She opened her eyes prepared to scream at the horrors that she had seem in her own mind, but only gasped as she was shocked to see a pair of concerned blue eyes. She started crying again and the owner of the eyes that had her so moved emotionally pulled her closer to his chest and rocked her soothingly.

"There, there luv. It was only a dream," he said quietly,"I'm here. Nothing can get you with me here..I promise."

Spike's caring words only seem to further unsettle the slayer and her silient tears turned into loud drawn out sobs full of pain. Spike could only wrap her deeper in his embrace and hope his soothing words were helping her troubled mind in some way. His love for the girl in his arms was the only light in his dark life and he would not lose her. Not now, when he was so close to finally gaining her. Their nightly lovefest's were only the beginning to an entire existence of being together in his mind. He desperately hoped she could see how much he was willing to give for her--to give up to be with her. All he wanted was her love, and with that he would be whole.

He kissed her forehead in an attempt to further soothe her and was shocked when she looked up into his eyes afterwards. Her face was stained in tears and makeup. Her hair was knotted and tangled all over her head. Her eyes were swollen and her lip was bruised from biting it to keep from screaming only hours ago. Buffy sniffled as a teardrop slowly fell from the corner of her eye. She couldn't understand why it hurt so much inside. She wanted to feel again. She needed to. Without feelings, a person could shrivel up and die. She didn't want that. They couldn't bring her back a second time.

"Make me feel again Spike," Buffy panted out between her tears. "Make the pain stop like only you can. Make love to me?"

There, she had said it, not fuck or screw or bone or any of the other meaningless words that she used to describe what they did to each other. She had said love. That one little word held more meaning than any other word he had ever heard. It was the only time he had ever heard her say it and he would cherish this moment for the rest of his existence.

"I love you," Spike said before leaning in to kiss her.

"I know," Buffy managed before the kiss caught her. The kiss was chaste and seemed to be meant to distract her from his proclamation. "Eventually...I'll be able to say it back," Buffy spoke barely above a whisper, but she knew he had heard her.

Passion consumed them both in the next moment and their gentle lovemaking went past the wee hours of night and well into predawn. At sometime during their marathon of passion, they had stopped trying to be quiet. They stopped caring what the others thought and just felt. The world was only this room for them. When the moon had reached its highest point and the stars were all twinkling brightly, a loud feminine scream of pleasure serenaded a huskier masculine voice.

"God, I love you Buffy," Spike moaned as he climaxed. At the same time Buffy screamed out his name in pleasure, his true name. "William...God...I love you..."

Before the pleasure from their simultaneous orgasms could subside, a blinding flash of bright blue light enveloped the bedroom. Buffy and Spike clung to each other in a subconscious attempt to protect the other. The attempt was futile because as quickly as the light had appeared, it was gone, leaving the naked couple passed out between the covers and a small note tattooed onto the belly of the slayer.

And there you have it, another sampling of my obsession with tv-shows. Enjoy, review, or complain, it's up to you.


	3. Tiny Surprises

Disclaimer: They aren't mine...but you knew that already...

Chapter 3:

With the coming of the sun, Dawn woke up and tiptoed to her sister's room. She knocked on her sister's door in a feeble attempt to wake her. She knew that Tara had somehow managed to get into the room to speak with Buffy, but could not figure out how the quiet girl had done it. Eventually she gave up, changed, and went downstairs to grab some sort of breakfast before going to school.

When she reached the kitchen, she saw Willow and Tara already awake and eating sliced fruit salads. Dawn grabbed a bowl and began to dig in as well. Glancing up every now and then to see if Willow or Tara would mention anything about her sister. Dawn's eyes brightened up when Willow cleared her throat in preparation to speak.

"Xander will be here in a little while to give you a ride to school," Willow stated.

Willow stood up to put the now empty bowls in the sink. When she turned around she heard Xander pulling up in the driveway. She heard his familiar footsteps as he jogged the path to the door, then his complimentary three knocks before opening the door in greeting.

"Why hello, lovely ladies. Everyone ready to move out for the day?"Xander said is his usual way.

The three girls nodded, grabbed their bags and headed out the door before him. Dawn was still very curious about what Tara and her sister had talked about last night, but it did not look like she was going to find out until later tonight. Nighttime always seemed to be the time when secrets were revealed in this house.

Meanwhile, upstairs the blonde-haired couple stirred in their sleep. Spike woke up first to the steady sound of Buffy's heartbeat. He lifted his head and looked down at his sun-kissed goddess hidden in the sheets. Her limbs tangled with his was a purely erotic sight in his mind. He stifled a yawn and leaned down to kiss Buffy awake, but haulted when the faint whisper of another heartbeat hit his ears. He vamped into his vampire visage in order to hear it better. If possible his face visibly paled lighter than it already was and he jumped away from his slayer as if burned.

His sudden movement woke Buffy up. She opened her eyes groggily and pushed her hair out of her face. She smiled a little when she saw Spike standing up nude before her, but her smile faded away as her eyes cleared and she saw the look of shock and horror on his face.

"Spike? What's wrong?"Buffy's eyes looked questionally at her lover.

Why does he look at me like that? It's like he fears something. We were making love and enjoying each other's prescence a little while ago, but now he looks as if I have wronged him. Could that be it? Could letting him in my cold exterior front have made him hate me all over again?

"Who's is it Buffy?" Spike spat at her in revulsion to break her train of thought," Some random git's whose name you didn't know?"

Spike pulled on his jeans before searching his duster pocket for a cig. How could he have been so foolish? He fell for her lies and pretty body. He was just her fuck buddy and whoever she had slept with other than him could have her. He had had to share Dru with every bloke she had gotten a liking to, but he would be damned if he let the slayer turn him into a lovesick puppy. He was not going to be love's bitch this time around. Especially not when the woman in question was nothing but a deceitful...

"Wh--"Buffy started to ask Spike, but stopped herself as she felt bile rise up her throat.

She sprang from the bed and raced to the bathroom, not even caring that she was still naked. She barely made it to the toliet before the vomit raced up her throat and out of her mouth. She'd never thrown up so much in her entire life. Buffy was so spent after the initial vomit, that she didn't even feel Spike holding her hair back or wiping her face with a cold cloth. She barely registered in her mind that he had lifted her up and carried her back into her bedroom. She barely felt Spike leave the room only to return moments later with gingerale and crackers.

How could he be so mean one moment and so caring the next? The vampire bastard is going to drive me insane one of these days. Buffy stopped her mental rantings to notice something. Spike had asked who's is it. Could he mean..Buffy never finished her most recent thought because she finally noticed Spike had been whispering things to her the entire time he had been caring for her.

"Spike?" Buffy whispered in an attempt to get him to speak louder.

"Yeah slayer,"but he answered her as if she were asking him for the time.

"What did you mean by 'who's is it'? What were you talking about?"Buffy eyes were troubled as she mumbled the question and looked down.

"You mean you don't know," Spike asked her in awe," but you're a few months into it at least..."

"Into what!"Buffy demanded and stared Spike down as if she wanted him to lie to her,"Into what?"

"You've got a baby bit growing in you love. Has been for a while by the sound of its heart, but I don't remember hearing--"Spike started to rambled but was cut off by Buffy pushing him away and running back into the bathroom.

Spike could hear her strangled sobs, but knew there was nothing he could do or say to make her open the door anytime soon. Eventually he heard her throwing up again before hearing the shower start. He hoped she was going to be okay with this turn of events because he was not sure he would be. Spike was positive he would have noticed the soft humming of the unborn babe's heart before today if Buffy had been pregnant. That meant something was off with this entire scenario and he would get to the bottom of it, but first he would make things right with his girl.

He headed towards the door after listening to the sound of the shower for about five minutes. He figured she had had enough time to simmer down and listen to what he needed to say. He hesitated before knocking on the door. What if she had hurt herself? What if she had gone suicidal and slit her wrists in the bathtub? It was not as if there was a shortage of sharp objects in the bathroom to do it with. Not with all the women that were able to shave in this house.

Spike pounded on the door yelling her name, his voice clouded in worry. The shower continued going and eventually Spike began to use his shoulder to push the door in. When the door sprang open and the broken lock clattered to the floor, Spike looked up to see a startled Buffy holding a razor blade dangerously close to her wrist. His worry had led to him finding her just in time, but what if he had been too late? What is she had succeeded in cutting herself? Would her slayer healing kick in to prevent her dying from the blood loss? He hoped he never had to find out.

Spike ran to Buffy and pulled her into his embrace. He whispered how sorry he was for being so stupid earlier and begged her not to shut him out of her life again. Buffy dropped the small blade to the bottom of the tub and clung to Spike as he whispered his promises to her. Both of them silently hoping that everything would be okay in the end.

Maybe she could get through this if he was here? Maybe things would work out somehow? Maybe she could still live with herself and the thing growing in her belly. This thing that had already lurched forward in its existance another couple of weeks because her stomach had grown before her own eyes. The sight had made her vomit again, but from horror this time. She had picked up the razor in an attempt to cut the monster from her belly, but Spike had rushed into the room to save it just in time.

He had been so worried about her. Spike had nearly lost his slayer to her own tormented emotions. He wouldn't make the same mistake twice. He helped Buffy out of the tub and turned off the faucet for the shower. A few nearby towels were used to dry the pair off before they headed back to the bedroom.  
Buffy needed to put on clothes, but she feared her growing belly would eventually ruin any outfit she put on. Spike solved this small problem by giving her his button down shirt and Tara's only pair of jeans. It was doubtful the wiccan would mind the borrowing considering the circumstances. Spike lead Buffy downstairs and towards the kitchen. He knew she was hungry and automatically began to prepare something for her to eat.

"When did you learn to cut?" Buffy asked to soften the heavy silence that had fallen over them since this morning.

Spike smiled softly at her as he flipped a pancake over and answered," When you're my age, luv, you pick up a few things."

Buffy giggled slightly as Spike placed a plate with pancakes in front of her and began to cut them into pieces before feeding them to her.

"Now open up, slayer, you need to keep up your strength," Spike teased as he feed her and himself from the plate.

The light mood in the kitchen would do both of them good, he reasoned as he cleaned the dishes. He turned around when the slayer's eyes were beginning to bore a hole into his back. He raised an eyebrow and smirked at her before finishing the dishes. Today would be about pleasing his girl because he knew tonight there would be a hell of an argument over this entire situation. Until then, though, he would enjoy being in her company. In fact, he could almost forget that she didn't really love him if he didn't think too much about it.


	4. Rescued?

Chapter 4:

Buffy couldn't remember much of what had happened, but at some point Spike had convinced her to watch a marathon of Passions and she found herself as drawn into the plot as he was. In fact, the couple was so drawn in that, when the door opened and the Scooby Gang all walked in with take-out in tow, they barely registered the commotion. It wasn't until Tara audibly gasped that the pair turned their heads towards the crowd.

"Buffy, what the hell are you doing here with unliving dead here?"Xander spoke to break the silence the room had fallen under.

Anya smacked Xander on the shoulder and promptly said without missing a beat,"Isn't it obvious they were watching tv together."

Spike looked at Anya as if nonverbally agreeing with her astute measuring of the situation, but Buffy was more timid in her reaction and said," Maybe we should call Giles on speaker phone and then I can tell everyone at once."

"Tell us what, Buffy?"Willow asked as she looked between Buffy and Spike with an unsettling feeling in the pit of her stomach.

Buffy shook her head and rushed over to the phone without answering her. Spike looked up as if he was tempted to follow her, but had decided against it at the last minute. There was no need to rile up the group even more by attempting to soothe Buffy's worries. He turned back to the television and began to watch Passions as if he had never been interrupted. He heard Buffy dial Giles number and begin to whisper urgently to his voice mail that she needed him here.

Tara, Dawn, and Anya promptly sat down on the sofa next to Spike. Willow and Xander took their bags of take-out and carried them to the kitchen to separate into individual orders. No one said much of anything until Buffy returned from her phone call, then chaos broke loose in the living room.

"Buffy, why are you wearing Spike and Tara's clothes and why is Spike anyway? Were you two patrolling and decided to become bosom buddies and share clothes," Willow couldn't help but voice her distress at the scene she had walked in on.

Xander quickly followed suit by saying,"Yeah, Buffster, what's with the funky get-up? I mean last night you come home giving Frankenstein's bride a run for her money and now...Well, what gives?"

Dawn and Tara remained silent, but still stared at Buffy in expectation of her reply. Spike looked around at the group as if they had all grown a second head. He couldn't believe he never noticed how much Buffy's so-called friends ridiculed her even when they were worried about her. Did they not see how much their teasing insults hurt her at times?

Anya broke the awkward silence that followed Xander and Willow's questions by stating,"Personally, it looks like Spike and Buffy were getting it on all day. Obviously he gave her such good orgasms that she cant comfortably wear her own clothes anymore."

Anya nodded as she looked between Spike and Buffy as if certain her assumption was the best one in the room. Buffy, however, found the truth behind her words oddly unsettling and suddenly felt faint. Spike noticed the sway in her body and jumped up to catch her before she hit the ground, much to Anya's delight.

"See!See? I was right," Anya shouted as Giles burst in the door to find the slayer unconcious in the arms of a vampire.

"Well it looks like we made it here just in time, eh Rip?" Wesley muttered more to himself than to his former watcher counterpart.

"Indeed,"Giles replied as he walked toward the blonde couple on the floor purposely ignoring the looks of shock on the Scooby Gang's face at his appearance.

"We need to get her to L.A. to see Lorne and a demonic obgyn," Wesley spoke softly to Spike and Giles as he sized up the Scooby Gang for the first time in a long time.

"Wh--I mean why--,"Willow tried to ask, but lost her voice at the words demonic obgyn.

"Look," Giles began,"Buffy is infected with a viral form of a demonic entity. It's effecting her otherwise supernatural pregnancy in monstrous ways and Wesley and I will be taking her and Spike to L.A. to determine the best means of going about this before the infection hurts her or her offspring."

"I don't understand--,"Xander began to ready himself up for another meaningless rant about what was going on around him.

"Look,"Tara whispered effeciently haulted Xander before he could really begin his sentence,"Buffy's stomach...it..it's.."

The entire room looked at Buffy to see she had woken up from the faint only to look at her stomach in pure shock. It was growing every so slightly, but enough for the casual observer to notice. The pain didn't begin until the growing had stopped.

"Ahh,"Buffy started to scream and thrash about as the pain seemed to spread from her insides before releasing itself from her pores.

It took Spike, Giles, and Wesley to hold the tormented slayer down long enough for Wesley to administer a stong pain killer. The pain instantly subsided, but it left Buffy drowsy and sufficently drained. Spike stood up with her in his arms and looked around at the room's occupants.

"Whatever's hurting her is bad,"he began in a calm, even tone of voice,"and it doesn't care that most of you lot don't want me near her. It doesn't care that slayers and vampires shouldn't have created what we have. It only cares about itself and I am not gonna let this thing take over the woman I love or our baby bit. Say what you want, but we're going where someone cares."

With that being said, Spike looked at the pair of former watchers for further orders. His eyes were brimmed with strong emotions for the strong, young woman he held in his arms and he dared anyone to try and take her from him.

"Can Tara and Dawn come with me?"Buffy asked softly to no one in particular and after a small pause,"and Willow because I'd feel better with the strong magicks and my sister."

Spike looked down at her small request. It amazed him that in spite of everything she had been through, she still was calm about this. She could have been denying everything that he had admitted to her friends, but she accepted it. Maybe she could love him if she allowed her friends to know that he loved her? Maybe she could come to accept him in her and the baby bit's life if everything turned out well?

"Of course they can,"Giles acknowledged softly," I was about to suggest the same thing. Xander, Anya, and myself will stay here in Sunnydale in Buffy's absence."


	5. Alarming Discovery

I know it's been a while, but here's the next chapter of this fic. Hope everyone finds it as good as the first few chapters.

Disclaimer: It's safe to say that if I owned Spike, I'd be shouting it from the rooftops and if I owned Buffy, I'd be throwing her from them. Since I am neither shouting nor committing homicide, they and all the others must not belong to me.

NEXT CHAPTER UPDATE

Chapter 5:

Pain. That's all that was registering in her mind. The pain and the overwhelming sensation of not being in control were making her feel powerless. Spike's slightly calming presence was soothing to her scattered mentality at times, but for the most part the ride to L.A. was excruciating.

Her stomach swelled to the size of a last trimester belly before contracting back to its normal first trimester size. The unborn child even began kicking at once point, which was more startling to notice then to actually feel.

Despite the obvious discomfort she was going through, the drive to L.A. had no rest stops or breaks. They made spectacular time to the city, and even better time to the hotel where Lorne was waiting to listen to her sing. She had no idea what she would sing, as of yet. Maybe she could sing a nursery rhyme in order to be as sarcastic and ironic as possible.

Her. That was all he could think about in the crapped confines of the minivan. Wesley and Giles had been thoughtful enough to somehow locate a vehicle large enough to transport the six of them. Comfort, however, didn't seem to play a part in the vehicle choice. If it had, he was certain, the former watchers would have picked something more delicate to carry their impregnated former charge.

The entire ride had been very taxing on her physical and mental self. To him it seemed as if the baby was fighting off the demon trying to infect it with demonic genes. Not to say that he was certain his own demonic genes weren't the cause of this entire scenario, but the way the watchers were acting made him think otherwise. Whatever was hurting his slayer and their chance at a family had better be the biggest bad the world had never known or else it would wish it had never existed to dare mess with what was his.

His. That's what she was now, right? His slayer. His love. His pet. His Buffy. Buffy. Buffy is such a simple name for such a complicated woman. He could see her biting her lip until it bled to keep from screaming again. She wouldn't want to appear weak in front of the others again. She needed to be strong and he knew that any of his attempts to help her would be fought off, but that did not stop him trying.

"Take it easy, pet. No rushing or else you'll hurt yourself or bit?" Spike attempted being rational with an impatient Buffy.

"I don't want to take things slowly. I want to know what the hell this is inside of me and whether or not I can hurt it for hurting me," Buffy stated darkly as she pushed away from Spike's proffered hand.

She walked towards the door of the hotel intending to cuss and threaten this Lorne guy into figuring out what was wrong with her as fast as possible, but as her hand touched the door she was hit with more pain. She cried out softly to herself as she practically collapsed at the edge of the doorway. Spike was at her side before the others could clearly see what had happened. He had picked her up and carried her through the threshold before Buffy could even start to protest.

Upon entering the large entrance area of the hotel, Spike placed Buffy on the nearest bench he could find. She was knelt over and whimpering to herself. Her eyes closed off from the world and Spike could only assume she was concentrating on meditation to lessen the pain. Her efforts seemed to be failing as she began sobbing in pain.

Buffy screamed out in pure frustration as the pain refused to subside. She had tried to meditate, but that only seemed to make the pain worsen. In a last ditch attempt to end the pain, she reached out for Spike's hand. She gripped it tightly in her own as she faintly noticed the others were talking amongst themselves around Spike and her.

"I'm here, lug," Spike whispered as he held her close and kissed the hand that was crushing his own.

He could feel her grip relaxing, but knew she was still in a large amount of pain. Spike did the only thing he could think of doing. He placed his other hand gently on Buffy's stomach and made small soothing circles on the surface. Almost instantly he felt the tense muscles in the slayer loosen and her startled face looked into his questioningly.

"You're here," she whispered so softly that Spike had to strain to hear it over Lorne's flamboyant walk down the hotel stairs and into the foyer area.

"Welcome, welcome," Lorne spoke dramatically," You must be the slayer and that would make you her..."Lorne trailed off as he noticed the somber expression on everyone in the room. Quickly, he changed the subject," Anyhow, Angelkins doesn't play well with Blondie over there, so he went off to play with Conner and mope in his room. Thinking Cordy's with him. Seems you've already met Wes, and Winifred and Gunn have gone off to take care of a case," Lorne finished a bit too anxiously for it not to sound rushed.

"Get on with it already," Spike growled in Lorne's direction," We've come to you so you could suss out this problem and all you want to do is chat idly while the slayer here is in pain?"

Lorne paled as much as a green, meterosexual demon can, and clapped his hands together to show his readiness.

"Alright. On with the singing," Lorne said as he gestured for Spike to lead Buffy into an office a little aside the greater portion of the room," You two come in here with me and I'll hear you belt a note or two?"

Spike nodded and made ready to pick Buffy up again, when she stood up on her own. She wiped the evidence of tears from her eyes, and began to slowly walk towards the room. Halfway there, she turned to look back at Spike. She smiled briefly and Spike took this as his cue to stand up and join her as she reached the door. Lorne quickly followed them and shut the door on the others still standing around expectantly.

"Well, that went about as well as can be expected," Wesley muttered more to himself than to the others," Let me show you a room you can stay in while you're here."

Wesley began walking towards the stairs, but stopped at Willow's loud complaint," Wait? You mean we'll be here long enough to settle into a room?"

Her puzzled expression etched deeper onto her face as Wesley nodded and replied," I expect you to be here until the child is born or removed from this world. In either case, I assume you would rather sleep in a bed than on the cold floor out here. Besides, Lorne and those two will be in there for a while."

Tara and Dawn picked up their small overnight bags from the floor. In the rush to leave the Summers' home, there had not been much time to pack for one day, let alone countless days. The pair followed closely behind Wesley as Willow still stood near the bench holding her bag of magical supplies.

"Oh," Willow finally managed as she also began to follow Wesley upstairs to a room," I just--assumed it wouldn't take long."

Wesley glanced back at the Wicca before turning to walk down the hallway. He shook his head slightly as he realized that there was so much the young woman was going to have to understand before the sun rose in a few hours. He only hoped that she would be willing to accept the things she learned before it was too late to be of any good to her.

In the room with Lorne, Buffy and Spike were both beginning to lose their patience.

"What do you mean I have to sing and first at that? Bugger this. Slayer's the one with the bun in the oven, not me," Spike argued fiercely to Lorne.

"I know that, but--"Lorne attempted to say until Buffy interrupted him.

"Yeah, I'm the one with the demon brat in me. I should sing first so you can do whatever it is you do and I can get on with getting this thing out of me," Buffy shouted heatedly at Lorne.

"What do you get off by calling the bit a thing and a demon brat? Huh?" Spike began to shout at Buffy.

"Earth to Spike! You're a demon therefore even if this wasn't some sick bug growing in me, it'd still be part of you," Buffy retorted with a scoff and an eye roll.

"So that's it then? Even if it were just baby growing in your oven you'd still hate it because it's a part of me, right? You cold, hearted bi--"Spike yelled.

"If you two could just stop--"Lorne interjected Spike in the middle of his rant only to be cut off by Buffy shouting over him.

"Of course I would hate it! It's demonic spawn! Not a real child. It wouldn't be human and if it came down to it I'd ki--"Buffy began to scream in Spike's direction only to stop instantly when another sharp pain hit her.

The pain was intense enough to send her into immediate early stages of shock. She fell to the floor immediately, shaking uncontrollably as if she was convulsing in the midst of a seizure. Lorne stepped out of her way as her arms flailed violently and her body contorted from the fits of pain surging through it. Spike tried to hold her still, but his efforts were proving futile.

"I tried to warn you," Lorne said in a blaming manner," Intense emotions are what feed the parasite. The more you two fight, the less chance you're unborn kid has a chance to live."

Lorne shook his head sadly as he started to run to get the others for help. He paused briefly to see Spike's eyes tear up as Buffy began to foam at the mouth, then he ran as fast as his expensive shoes would allow it.

Well that's all I have for now. Adieu til next my imagination draws you near...


	6. Unsurpressed Emotions

Disclaimer: Last time I checked, I didn't own anything even remotely close to any of the characters on the show. With that being said, my lawyer is on permanent vacation and my bank account is nonexistant.

Chapter 6:

She's not breathing. It was his demon that noticed it first. The irrational side of his mind said good riddance, but the caring side knew better. His slayer had stopped breathing. That meant she was dying. So he needed to remedy the situation by getting her to breathe. The only problem was how do you help a person breathe when you can not breathe?

"Lorne!"

The heavy thud of several pairs of feet running towards him was his only answer, but this wasn't good enough. Not when his slayer was dying before his very eyes. He needed help now and was not afraid to do anything necessary to obtain it. Even if it reduced him to begging, he would get his slayer what she needed.

"LORNE!"

The room was instantly filled by every availible person in the hotel. From Lorne to Dawn and even a horror struck Angel and Cordelia. Angel moved quickly and began calling someone on the phone. The demonic obgyn was all that could be assumed. The rest of the gang stood partly to the side. Most in too much shock to be of much use to anyone. Cordelia, on the other hand, held no qualms and went straight to business while switching Connor from one shoulder to the other.

"What's going on?"Cordelia asked while tapping young Connor on the back to soothe him.

Spike restrained himself from rolling his eyes and merely looked down at the now paling woman in his arms. Her face was starting to tint a soft blue on its edges. She needed air and fast.

Wesley knelt down beside the fallen slayer and Spike. He whispered a soft prayer to himself and began to perform cpr on the still form. After a few minutes of anticipation and fustration, a small cough sputtered from her cold lips and her eyes rolled forward in her head.

"Spike," she mumbled weakly and reached hesitantly in the direction she assumed him to be in.

Spike's arms were around her before anyone could bat an eyelash otherwise. His face buried in her neck, sniffing away his unshed tears. His words of comfort spoken so softly that only her ears could hear. Hesitantly Buffy lifted weak limbs to wrap around Spike's lean torso. Her eyes over flowing with tears of sorrow and appreciation.

Lorne took this as his cue to get the couple to finally settle down and begin singing.

"Alright you two," Lorne whispered quietly,"I think now would be a good time for you to sing so I can read you?"

Spike looked up at Lorne's face and nodded slightly before looking down at Buffy's troubled face. His mind fought with his heart as he began to sing a short song he thought he had long forgotten. For his girl, he'd risk his pride.

"'Early one morning...'"Spike sang softly in Lorne's general direction.

His voice wavered a bit and never raised louder than required for Lorne's sensitive ears to hear. After watching Spike's finishing expression towards Buffy, Lorne looked pointedly at the slayer to cue her to begin.

"It's my turn now isn't it?"she recalled, more to herself than to any one person.

Silence was her only reply. After a pregnant pause, she cautiously began to sing,"I've been looking in the mirror for so long. That I've come to believe my souls on the other side..."

At some point, she closes her eyes and silent tears trail down her cheek. She continues on and Spike unconsciously holds her closer to his unbeating heart.

"'Oh the little pieces falling, shatter. Shards of me,To sharp to put back together.To small to matter,  
But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces...'"

Willow, Dawn, Tara, and Angel all take sharp intakes of air as they realize what the words mean as Buffy's voice strengthens and she continues to finish the verse she has begun.

"'If I try to touch her, And I bleed, I bleed, And I breathe, I breathe no more...'"

The last few lines were strangled from her throat as she started to cry harder and louder now. Spike's prescense was oddly comforting, but everyone else's was trying her mental state at the moment as she broke down before them all. She cried for a life she would never have. She cried for a life she barely remembered. But mostly, she cried for a moment in heaven that she wished she could have forgotten. Her brief moments of passion with Spike held no light towards her stint in heaven. It paled in its lustfullness and cowered in the wake of a time that would never be able to be compared to another. Buffy cried for every moment that she had ever wanted to be a weak, powerless mortal and instead had to fight the biggest evil the world could cook up for the moment and for once in her life, she didn't feel the need to hide. She would get through this because she had friends she could lean on. Mostly, she had him. Which was a vast improvement on what she had before him.

I know it's not long and it's probably loaded with errors that spell check and myself are too distracted to locate. However, this is just a sampling of what this chapter will be..eventually. With work, school, and extra curricular "fun" there is hardly time to sleep and eat let alone do this fic justice. As an afterthought, Spike's song is the hypnotizing lullaby he sings in the last season of BTVS and Buffy's song is a sampling of an Evanescence(if I spelled that right) song. As always, reviews are more than welcome. Adieu for now.


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